I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
