she woke up with a sticky ear
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
