and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize