well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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