did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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