Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
