You work out of a Hotel?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
