Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
