...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
