He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
