id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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