super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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