on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
