The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
