You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
