Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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