we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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