i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
