it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
