I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
