i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
