oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
