Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Quick, to the slutcave!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize