The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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