She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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