So drunk its hurt
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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