I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
