he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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