She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
