it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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