Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
