i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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