Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
