if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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