I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
