I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
