The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
