you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
