once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
