do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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