can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
