I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
