I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
