Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
