I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
