I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
