yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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