4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
never play flip cup with pint glasses
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
