i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
