so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
