Non-Jews are for practice
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
