I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
