I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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