hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize