Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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