Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
