Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
