and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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