I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
