Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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