think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
