What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
