i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize