How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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