This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
