whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
